yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
