It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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