She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
