if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
