I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
