So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
