According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
