never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
