You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
