There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
