Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
