ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
