What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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