He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
