Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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