Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
