i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
