How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
