I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
