Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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