It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
