Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
