the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
