Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
