I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
