i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
