3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
