So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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