All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
