I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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