come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
