I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i think we sleep fucked last night...
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
