alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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