Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
