he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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