people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this just has baby written all over it
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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