Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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