Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize