he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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