i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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