best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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