I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
