pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
