Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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