If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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