are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
