Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can't put those talents on a resume
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
