I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
