his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Life is so much better after having sex.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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