I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
